


Kaleidoscopes are only beautiful because they're made of broken pieces

by denyingmyselfalways



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Bucky Barnes & Steve Rogers Friendship, Bucky Barnes & Tony Stark Friendship, Bucky Feels, Coping, Gen, Healing, Memories, Nightmares, Steve Rogers & Tony Stark Friendship, Steve being really confused a lot, Tony Feels, Tony and Bucky seeing each other's points of view, lots of fluff
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-18
Packaged: 2019-07-11 16:13:25
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 9,015
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15975872
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/denyingmyselfalways/pseuds/denyingmyselfalways
Summary: Of course, it had to be a freaking wizard.Why couldn’t it have been aliens that didn’t have super brain-altering powers that could completely jack up your existence? But it wasn’t aliens. And he did have those abilities.You’d think that was as bad as it got, right?No.The only backup that Tony Stark had were Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes. Freaking Barnes and Noble. Why. Why was his life like this?You see, it wasn’t just the awkwardness, although that was bad. No, the awkwardness was doable because they were in the middle of a fight and could work pretty well together as long as they focused on the enemy.It was the fact that the wizard thought it was a good idea to combine Tony and Bucky’s brains. Not in the normal way, like they switched bodies or something. No, they combined brains. So, Bucky’s thoughts, memories, emotions, experiences, and skills were all dumped into Tony Stark’s head.Or: Tony, Bucky, and Steve fought a wizard and Tony and Bucky's brains somehow got smooshed together





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Italics are Bucky's thoughts.  
> Bold are Tony's thoughts.  
> The combination of the two are memories.
> 
> Sorry if that's confusing, I hope it gets easier to understand.  
> For clarification, right at the beginning, neither of those are used because the two different trains of thought aren't distinguishable to Tony, and so he thinks every thought is his.

Of course, it had to be a freaking wizard.

Why couldn’t it have been aliens that _didn’t_ have super brain-altering powers that could completely jack up your existence? But it wasn’t aliens. And he did have those abilities.

You’d think that was as bad as it got, right?

No.

The only backup that Tony Stark had were Steve Rogers and Bucky Barnes. Freaking Barnes and Noble. Why. Why was his life like this?

For once, he would have preferred Peter to be his backup. Who cares if it’s dangerous, the kid could hold his own. And he’d much rather be stuck in this particular situation with Peter than with Bucky Barnes.

You see, it wasn’t just the awkwardness, although that was bad. No, the awkwardness was doable because they were in the middle of a fight and could work pretty well together as long as they focused on the enemy.

It was the fact that the wizard thought it was a good idea to combine Tony and Bucky’s brains. Not in the normal way, like they switched bodies or something. No, they _combined_ brains _._ So, Bucky’s thoughts, memories, emotions, experiences, and skills were all dumped into Tony Stark’s head. Tony could only hope that Bucky got a limited view of his. He hated people who were good at reading him. Embarrassment, however, was the last thing on his mind as they rode home from the sort-of-win-but-mostly-defeat. He was trying to sift through Bucky’s surface memories, trying to _focus._ It was already hard to do that with one brain, and now he had to do it with two.

Steve sighed, sitting between them. “We’ll figure this out. There’s got to be a way to fix this.” Of course, Steve got out all right. He never gets what’s coming to him. Like that one time that he convinced all the guys in the platoon that he didn’t swear and started a swear jar and bought himself that new wallet. Stupid little kid.

Tony blinked, staring across the autopiloted quinjet at Bucky. Bucky wasn’t looking at him, just staring at the floor in that brooding way of his. Tony started wondering if that was Bucky’s resting face and he just looked mad all the time when in reality he wasn’t mad at all.

He tried not to giggle. He really tried. But Tony Stark has very little self-control when it comes to these things.

“Why are you laughing?” Steve asked, partly confused, partly annoyed.

Tony just pressed his lips together and shook his head. “One day, karma is going to bite you in the ass.”

_“What?”_

Tony sighed. “Nevermind.”

Silence for a bit. Steve shook his head and went to go sit next to Bucky, who was still staring at the ground.

Tony deactivated his suit and the nanobots disintegrated into his arc reactor. He began running basic attendance on it, trying to get it back to top shape.

I should probably take care of myself more.

Tony blinked, his hands freezing. What the heck? The stinging pain slicing down his calf broke through his thoughts and he glanced down at the wound that he’d almost completely forgotten about. He grunted. How could he forget something like that? That’s an idiotic thing to do. He should probably get that checked out, that wizard could have done some weird voodoo crap on it for all he knew.

Tony frowned, rubbing his temple, finally allowing himself to theorize about these aggressively self-caring thoughts that had been penetrating his skull. He warily looked up at the metal-armed super soldier, but Bucky wasn’t looking at him. Or… he wasn’t looking at his eyes. He was staring intently at the bleeding cut on Tony’s calf.

Tony groaned. Apparently, they could communicate telepathically as well. This would be fun.

“Wait, what?” Bucky muttered, finally looking him in the eyes.

Steve, who’d been about to ask why Tony was groaning, he was sure, snapped his mouth shut.

Tony shrugged, feeling none too happy about it.

Steve blinked, thoroughly confused. “What is going on?”

“Apparently we can… communicate telepathically? I thought that was Wanda’s thing. Or did the wizard give you those powers too? Are you and Wanda gonna like be witchy together and freak me out, because one person with weird glowing hands is enough for one lifetime.”

Tony cocked his head at the obviously confused soldier. “What? No. We just basically got each other’s brains. I can talk to you exclusively and you me. I don’t have powers. Or… do I? But you do too, so it’s… yeah… this is going to be so annoying when I’m doing it with-”

“Ah, ah, ah, baby ears,” Bucky said, moving to put his hands over Steve’s ears.

Steve swatted his arm away, “I told you not to do that.”

Bucky shrugged apologetically. “Sorry, habit.”

**_Gunshots. Blood. Too much blood. Cover Steve’s eyes, he shouldn’t see this. This is not for the innocent. I am not innocent. He is. Protect. Kill so he won’t have to._ **

Tony’s consciousness slammed back into his skull. Bucky was looking at him warily and Steve was rambling on as if he hadn’t noticed Tony being stripped away from his own memories and forced to relive someone else’s. As if panic attacks for one weren’t enough.

Tony dragged a hand down his face. “Listen, why don’t we… figure this all out later. I need a nap. It’s been a long day.”

“Why don’t you at least wrap that leg first,” Steve interjected, looking pointedly at the small pool of blood gathering on the steel floor.

“Right. Sorry, I forgot.” He leaned back on the cot he’d been sitting on and pulled his legs onto it. “FRIDAY do the honors.”

He was already drifting to sleep by the time his AI had deployed an extension to wrap his leg for him, but his brain did manage to think one last thing.

I _forgot_. What an idiotic thing to do. I’m worse than Steve is what I am. Honestly, what is with me and my inability to take care of myself.

Tony’s lips quirked up a bit. Perhaps Bucky Barnes wasn’t quite so terrible.

 

Steve sighed, his shoulders slumping in relief as soon as Tony fell asleep. “He’s so… different now.”

Bucky gave a one-shoulder shrug. “I wouldn’t know.”

Steve didn’t look at him. “You two would have been friends, I think. If things had been different.”

**_The tires blew out. Strangled cries. Hand around a throat. Dragging the body from the car. A single gunshot. The broken eyes of a child who’s just lost their parents._ **

“Yeah.”

Silence for longer than usual.

“Buck.”

He looked up at Steve, trying not to show his heart on his sleeve. He used to be pretty good at hiding it before his brain had been scrambled over and over. And now this. With a man whose parents he murdered in cold blood.

_I don’t care. He killed my mom._

Bucky squeezed his eyes shut.

“Buck. It’s not your fault.”

And somehow, Steve always knew anyway.

“It wasn’t his either,” he said, looking at his best friend. “And yet he still blames himself.”

“He doesn’t-”

Bucky barked a laugh. “Look me in the eyes and tell me that man,” he pointed at the unconscious billionaire, “doesn’t blame himself for everything.”

Steve clenched his jaw. “I know. I know he does. I just-” he sighed. “I just wish he didn’t.”

“Me too, Stevie. Me too.”

Three heartbeats passed before: “I thought I told you not to call me that.”

Bucky smirked. It didn’t last long.

**_Screams. Screams that he didn’t cause. These were not screams that he knew. These were different. A woman with fiery red hair going up in flames. A man with a strong will falling from the sky. A boy… a_ kid _with the innocence and optimism of a child disintegrating into nothing. All my fault. All because of me. If I had just died from the torture. If I hadn’t made a name for myself. If I hadn’t_ survived _. They would be okay if I had died with my parents. They wouldn’t have to suffer. Perhaps dad was right. Maybe nothing I can possibly do will make up for what I’ve done._**

“-Bucky?”

Bucky whirled, fist half-thrown before he could stop it inches from Steve’s appalled face.

“Buck?” he murmured, half of him wary, half absolutely terrified.

Bucky shook his head. “I’m fine. I’m okay, I just... wasn’t prepared for… Tony’s thoughts. I’m good.”

Steve frowned, looking over at the completely stoic Tony. Nothing seemed amiss. It’s like he’d trained himself to stay as still and as calm as possible, so no one would know. Bucky clenched his jaw remembering how calm the self-deprecating thoughts had been. Maybe he _had_ trained himself to do that.

“Is he okay?”

He thought about that for a minute. “He’s not okay. But he’s… okay with that.”

Steve half-shrugged. “It’s better than nothing.”

Bucky crossed his arms over his chest and didn’t say anything, choosing to stare at Tony’s sleeping form, as if his glare alone would keep the nightmares away.

_Is it though?_

 

He slid awake slowly, like someone tentatively getting into a pool of cold water. He heard low voices coming from one room over, but the hum of the engine drowned out any hope of actually making out words. He groaned and sat up, pausing only to nod in satisfaction at the bandage around his lower leg before sliding off the cot. He trudged over to the sink sitting in the corner and waved his hand over it, causing water to spill over itself in its eagerness to comply with his wishes. He splashed his face and dried it off with the hand towel hung next to the counter.

_Oh look, you’re awake._

He jumped in surprise, almost throwing the towel into the air, but managing to collect himself before that happened. He’d forgotten about Bucky.

Then he frowned. Perhaps he was getting better between distinguishing his and Bucky’s thoughts. Earlier, he’d just assumed that everything he was thinking was his own, so it was difficult to tell who’s were who’s, but now Bucky’s thoughts seemed clear as day and distinct as well… someone else’s thoughts.

_Are you done?_

Tony smirked. **I’m done.**

_Good, cause according to Steve, we’re going to land._

Tony sucked in a breath. Now for trying to fix all this. **Perhaps I’ll be able to snag Bruce from his ‘vacation’ with Natasha without either of them killing me. Peter might be an okay help actually. And Strange, I definitely need Strange.**

_I don’t know half the people you’re talking about, but if it’ll get your sporadic thoughts out of my head, I’m down._

Tony rolled his eyes.

The two soldiers entered the main terminal, muttering under their breath to each other. He didn’t miss Bucky’s glance his way but held his reaction. It would probably be better if they didn’t interact much outside of what was needed. He waited for Bucky’s snarky response, but none came.

“Your leg okay?”

Tony looked up. “Hmm?”

“Your leg,” Steve said, pointedly glancing at his calf.

“Right, uh, it’s fine. Thanks,” he muttered, calling up the interface of the quinjet on his glasses and sifting through any possible repairs.

_So, in other words, it probably needs medical attention._

Tony didn’t respond, in his head or otherwise.

“We’re touching down, boss,” FRIDAY said, just as he felt the jet meet resistance in the form of the landing platform.

“Thanks, Fri. Do me a favor and contact Strange and the kid. Prep my lab. Send an update to Bruce and ask if he’s interested. If not, that’s fine, I’ve got a couple other strings I can pull,” Tony said as the door opened and he strode out, wincing only when the pain of his calf registered in his brain, but he kept going.

_Don’t think I didn’t notice that._

Tony ignored him. “You know what, talk to Wong too. Heaven knows he’s more helpful than Strange. Pull up everything we know about brain activity. Text Wanda. She might know something about this. Ask Vision to get on the case, but don’t force him to.”

He stepped into the compound, heading straight to the elevator, sending a quick thought to Bucky. **Follow me when you guys are done licking your wounds. Tell Steve to come too.**

 

Bucky jerked in surprise when Tony’s thoughts shot through his head, clear as day. He groaned, rubbing his face with his non-metal arm. It might take a bit to get used to this.

“What is it?”

“It’s Tony. He wants us down in the lab with him as soon as we’re all cleaned up.”

“Me too?”

“Yeah,” Bucky said, stripping off his slightly bloodied jacket. _Why does Steve need to be there?_

**_Flashes of light. Pain. Too much pain. Metal armor digging into skin. Desperation. A shield coming down towards my head._ **

Bucky winced, waiting for a tangible response.

**He doesn’t have to be.**

Bucky clenched his jaw but didn’t respond to Tony. Nothing he could say would make it easier.

“He just thought you might want to come along.”

Steve nodded. “Well, we’d better get going then.”

 

Tony had already gotten everything pulled up on his own brain by the time Bucky and Steve had found their way to his lab, both looking extremely self-conscious. Tony smirked a little to himself how out of their element they looked.

“Barnes,” he said, gesturing to the chair next to his work table, “sit.”

Bucky tensed a bit.

**_Sit. Stay. Roll over like the mutt you are. Sit still while we meld metal to skin. Sit still as we put your brain in a blender. Sit still as we freeze your insides._ **

Tony met his eyes and shook his head. “I’m just going to put some brainwave probes on your head to see if it's neurological. That’s all I have to do.”

Bucky nodded, his muscles relaxing a bit.

_Thanks._

Tony half-shrugged, ignoring Steve’s confused look. “Are you two conversing again?”

He laughed. “It’s not like we have much choice in the matter.”

Bucky didn’t say anything, just trotted over to the chair that Tony had previously gestured toward and plunked down. Tony grabbed the probes from off the table and placed them on Bucky’s skull, careful not to touch him in case it shattered him.

_I’m not glass._

**Yeah, neither am I, but an atomic bomb is just as fragile.**

Bucky shot a glare at him. _You’re not a bomb._

**That’s debatable.**

Tony smirked at Bucky’s surging anger making its way through his brain. “Alrighty, let’s get this hooked up.” He put the other ‘brain cap’ on his own head and started up the tracking program. “Let’s see if this is purely neurological.” The quiet beeping of the machine grated on his nerves, but he forced a stoic facial expression and watched as the computer started collecting data.

“Would it be better if it was purely… whatever you said?”

Tony blinked, momentarily distracted by the question. “That depends. On a lot of things actually. The solution would be more concrete, but it might be more complicated.”

Bucky blinked. _I don’t know what the heck that means._

He laughed. “Don’t worry about it, I’ll deal with it.”

“Mr. Parker has texted you back,” FRIDAY said.

“What’d he say?”

“He responded that he was on his way along with the surprised emoji, the thumbs up emoji, the man running emoji, the laughing and crying emoji-”

“Alright, alright, I get it Fri,” Tony said with a smirk. That kid and his emojis.

“Who’s Mr. Parker?”

Tony opened his mouth to reply but was cut off by a portal opening in the middle of his lab.

Strange and Wong stepped out, a lanky teenager in tow.

“Hey, Mr. Stark!” Peter said, practically bounding into the room like the lost puppy that he was. He only froze when he saw Steve and Bucky, saluting to each of them. “Nice to see you guys.”

Bucky cocked his head and Tony almost laughed at the surge of confusion emitting from the other man.

Strange smirked. “He texted me and said that he needed a ride. Conveniently, you needed me as well.” Wong nodded in agreement, watching Peter out of the corner of his eye like he expected him to do something mischievous. Which, in Peter’s case, was very possible.

Steve was pure amusement. “And who might you be?” he asked the kid.

Peter straightened, looking a bit wary. “Peter Parker, sir.”

Steve nodded slowly. “You’re that intern kid that Tony’s mentioned.”

Tony braced himself for the inevitable fanboying.

“He mentioned me? What did he say, because I swear the story about the cereal and the zoo animals is _not true,_ but he tells it to everyone! Or is it the one where I split a boat in half? Okay, that one’s kind of true, but it’s not my fault. Oh no, it was about when I met Ms. Potts, isn’t it? Ugh, that was the worst day of my life.”

Tony barked a laugh. “Now you’re just giving me ideas,” he said, pulling the monitor from his head and walking over to Peter to throw an arm over him. “Come on, we have work to do. You can go fanboy later.”

Peter sputtered. “I do not-”

“Wanda has texted back, sir,” FRIDAY interjected. “She says she won’t know more about the brain than the next person but if her powers would come in handy, she’d be more than happy to help.”

Tony nodded, steering Peter towards the table where Bucky was sitting. “We’ve been monitoring our brain activity for a few minutes, trying to figure out if our thoughts are connected neurologically or just… magically.”

“I thought you said there was no such thing as magic.”

“That was before I fought a space war alongside a wizard with a flying cape.”

“Touché.”

Peter frowned at the two tables of brainwaves on the screen. “They look… strange.”

“Doc, you got anything on brainwaves?”

Strange stepped forward, staring intently at the data. “This kind of activity wouldn’t be extremely weird between siblings or couples or best friends, but from the sound of it, this doesn’t describe either of you.”

Both Bucky and Tony snorted at the same time.

Peter cocked his head at it. “They’re like… exactly the same in some places… and totally different in others. Like, here,” he said, pointing at a section of the graph where the two lines met. “You’re on the exact same brainwave, but then Tony’s spikes and Bucky’s shoots down right afterward.”

Strange nodded. “The kid’s right. I think it might be a mix of both cosmic energy and neurological connection. Who did this to you?”

“Some wizard dude. I tried calling you, but apparently, you weren’t around, which is funny cause you’re here _now_ ,” Tony said, raising an accusatory eyebrow.

Strange shrugged off his cloak. “Sorry, but the sanctum was being attacked. If I’d known this would happen, I may have gotten a sub.”

Peter grinned that half-grin of his. “Like a substitute? Like in school? Everyone knows that subs suck at actually getting work done.”

Wong nodded solemnly from his stance beside a thoroughly confused Steve. “This is true.”

 _“Anyway._ Do you think you can fix it?” Tony asked, turning to Strange. “I’m not an expert on brainwaves or magic or any of that stuff.”

Strange sighed. “I don’t know. I’d have to find out the spell they used first to see if it’s even possible.” He glanced at Wong. “Right?”

Wong nodded slowly. “Do you have the footage of the battle?”

Tony raised an eyebrow. “Of course. What do you think you’re working with, an amateur?”

Bucky’s thoughts broke through his concentration as he pulled up the footage from the fight and sent Strange and Wong to analyze it on a separate monitor. _This is so confusing._

Tony sighed. **Trust me, I know.**

Peter wrinkled his nose at him. “What are you doing?”

“Hmm?”

“You just…” Peter shook his head. “Nevermind. What did the spell _do_ exactly?”

Tony sighed. “Well, we can basically read one another’s minds. And emotions. And I apparently now have the muscle memory to judo-flip someone to the ground, although that’s useless because my body would not be able to pull that off. And dreams. And memories.”

Peter’s eyes widened. “You guys can read each other’s minds? Can you communicate telepathically?”

Tony half-shrugged. “Sort of?”

“Awesome!” Peter pumped a fist into the air, only calming when Tony shot him a glare. “Sorry. Not awesome.”

_Who is this kid?_

Tony could practically feel Bucky trying to tug at his memories to see who Peter was.

“Ah, ah, ah. None of that now,” he said, jabbing a finger in Bucky’s direction. “I thought we had this unspoken agreement not to look at each other’s memories.”

Bucky looked taken aback. “Since when?”

“Since the fact that neither of us has done it yet! Besides, it’s not like I agreed to give you free reign over my brain.”

Bucky crossed his arms, which looked a bit ridiculous as he still had that stupid brain monitor on his head. “Fine. But I still want to know.”

Tony looked at Peter, who looked about to explode with excitement from watching the exchange. “He wants to know who you are.”

At that statement, the energy seemed to drain a bit, and Peter’s expression sobered. “But, I-”

“You don’t have to if you don’t want to, but… if you do that’s fine. It’s your decision.”

_Is he your illegitimate child?_

**Shut up.**

“Uh, I’m, uh…” Peter tugged at his sleeve, not meeting either Bucky or Steve’s eyes. “Um… ugh, this sucks.”

“You don’t have to-”

“Spider-man. I’m Spider-man.”

It was silent for a moment, and although he could practically feel Steve’s rage, he could _literally_ feel Bucky’s.

**_He’s too young. He’s too small. He should be protected. Not me, I’ll go so he doesn’t have to. It can’t be him. Please let them say no, he’s too weak. He shouldn’t be here, I should be saving him, not the other way around. No. Not Steve. No._ **

“-What the hell were you thinking?!”

Tony blinked. “I’m sorry, I spaced. What were you saying?”

Bucky’s rage seemed to soften a bit at that, but Steve seemed all the more enraged. “Why would you send a fourteen-year-old kid into-”

“He’s seventeen, Steve.”

“Who cares?!”

Peter crossed his arms over his chest. “I care.”

Tony smirked. “Kid, you aren’t intimidating, stop trying.”

Peter huffed.

“What were you thinking?” Steve asked again, his arms crossed over his chest.

Tony sighed. “Did you know that Peter Parker used to swing around in his pajamas?”

“They weren’t-”

“Yes they were, now be quiet, the adult is talking.”

_What kind of a relationship is this?_

**I don’t even know.**

“I knew you guys would be pulling your punches, that’s why I figured-”

“Wait a second,” Peter said, frowning at the table. “Look.”

Their previous argument forgotten, they turned to stare at the computer as Bucky’s thoughts crashed downwards and upwards in a sporadic manner.

“What?” Steve asked, as confused as Tony.

Peter gestured at Tony with both his hands. “Quick! Put the brain thing back on!”

Tony blinked, “What?”

“Just do it!”

He huffed, grabbing the monitor from off the table and pulling it over his head. The graph jumped to life as it began registering Tony’s thoughts again.

“Now talk to each other! In your brains, I mean.”

_I’m confused. Is this not your genius son?_

**If it makes you feel better, I have no idea what he’s talking about either.**

“There! See!”

Tony watched the screen as the two lines stayed connected for a bit and then jumped apart even farther than before. “So, what? When we communicate, our brainwaves connect. That’s a pretty logical conclusion to come to.”

Peter sighed, frustrated that they weren’t getting it. He swiped across the screen, going back to the moment when their brainwaves had connected. “Don’t you get it? See how they meet for a little and then jump apart right afterward _while you guys are still communicating_? The more you join, the further apart your brainwaves become. They connect for a bit, but then they separate more concretely than they were before.”

“What?” Bucky asked, voicing the confusion that Tony was feeling from him. Steve looked just as confused, but it started to dawn on Tony.

“Seriously? So, your hypothesis is… that the more we look inside each other’s brains, the more separate they become.”

“Yeah. I mean if you think about it, it’s not that crazy. My science headcanon is that your brains got smooshed together, they weren’t quite sure which thoughts belonged to who. So the more you understand the other person’s brain, the more your own brain can figure out who’s who.”

Tony groaned. “A few things. One, just say hypothesis, not ‘science headcanon’. And two, does this mean what I think it means? It’s not just communicating is it?”

“I’m still not understanding,” Steve said, and Bucky just looked lost.

Tony groaned, ripping the monitor off his head. “I can tell when you’re communicating with me and when I’m thinking about myself, but remember at the beginning when we couldn’t distinguish that?”

Bucky nodded slowly.

“The more we communicate, the better we can distinguish between our two sets of thoughts.”

“So, the solution is to… talk telepathically?” Bucky asked, beginning to catch on.

Peter stuck up a finger. “That’s _part_ of the solution.” He ran over to a whiteboard and wheeled it over to the confused super-soldiers. “See, brains are kinda cool. There are the thoughts, right?” he said, writing the word in black marker and drawing a circle beneath it. “But there’s memories, emotions, inclinations, muscle memory, and instinct.” He wrote all those words and put a circle beneath each, then grabbed a blue marker. “There’s more than that, but for our purposes, this is enough. Say Mr. Barnes’ brain is in black, and Mr. Stark’s is in blue.” He outlined the already drawn black circle beneath ‘thoughts’ in blue. “Your thoughts are pretty in sync at the moment because of all the communicating you guys have been doing.”

Bucky nodded. _This kid is a genius._

**Believe me, I know.**

_If you don’t adopt him, I will._

Tony huffed a laugh, only pressing his smile away when Peter shot him a glare. “Stop communicating when I’m explaining.

“Anyway, your thoughts are pretty good, but there are all these other categories that need to be addressed. Have either of you gotten memories from the other at random times?”

Both slowly nodded, neither looking at the other.

“Memories are weird because they’re just fragments of a moment, but that’s all your brain needs to remember it and feel the emotions and thoughts that came with that memory. See how they’re all connected? You can’t just separate one of the categories, you have to get it so that each of these categories is outlined in both blue and black.”

“Like a bruise,” Tony muttered.

Peter ignored him. “And that… is my science headcanon.”

He bowed, and Tony could feel his smile even when he was staring at the whiteboard. “Why’d you need this?”

“Well, I figure you can track your progress. You guys have had a couple memories?” Peter stepped up with the blue marker and drew a circle slightly overlapping the black one that sat beneath memories. “Your goal is to completely sync them all up completely.”

Tony winced. That would be fun.

_This is going to suck._

**Believe me, pretty boy, I know.**

_You think I’m pretty?_

Tony ignored his dirty little smirk and turned to Peter. “But this is just a hypothesis?”

Peter shrugged. “Yeah, I mean, if you want the whole doctoring thing, ask Strange. I could be completely wrong.”

At the mention of his name, Strange looked up. “I’ve been listening to this, uh… ‘science headcanon’ of Peter’s and I’m 90% sure he’s right. This wizard used a type of confusion spell mixed with identity and nightmare and a little bit of shared experience.”

Wong narrowed his eyes a little. “Yes, from what I can pick up from the words, he actually messed up the spell that he’d meant to do. He probably meant to switch your bodies, but that didn’t quite work.”

“Like in Freaky Friday?” Peter asked, much too eager for someone who just told Tony that he might have to share his life experiences with the man who murdered his parents.

_I can hear you, you know._

**Sorry, Bud.**

He didn’t know what else to say, but Bucky didn’t seem to be angry. Just a little sad.

Tony took a deep breath. “We’ll… figure this out. We can work with this. It might just be a bit uncomfortable, but… it’s better than being stuck in your head together, right?”

Bucky stuck out his tongue.

“Oh, and keep communicating because you don’t want your brains to forget who’s thoughts are who’s,” Strange interjected, beginning to create a portal with his hands. “Wong and I are gonna go see if we can find any books that will help the process along. Text me if you need anything.”

The two wizards stepped through and the portal disappeared.

After a moment of silence, Peter cursed.

“What?” Tony asked, rolling the whiteboard beside the desk they’d been working on.

“That was my ride home.”

“You wanna sleep over? It’s Saturday tomorrow, right? You can go home then.”

Peter’s face lit up. “Really?! That’s awesome! Yes, that’d be fantastic!”

Tony smirked softly. “You know where your room is. Skedaddle, young buck,” he said, waving him towards the elevator.

As soon as Peter was gone, Steve turned on him. “Come on, Tony really? A kid? You can’t seriously think that-”

“What’s done is done,” Tony said, cutting him off. “There are days when I regret that decision, but then I remember all of the times that suit has saved that kids life. 54 times, Captain. 54 times that he could have died, and we would have been all the worse for it.”

“Then why didn’t you just give him the suit without bringing him to Germany?” Steve asked, throwing his hands in the air.

“Because I needed an extra set of webs! And if you knew Peter at all, you’d know that just giving him a multimillion-dollar suit without any interaction with other enhanced individuals would have been a huge mistake. I can only do so much, and I knew that it would’ve been the last opportunity in a while that he’d get to fight with some of the Avengers while they were pulling their punches. It was like his training, just with… bad motivations.” Tony’s voice declined throughout the miniature rant until he was practically muttering. “You don’t know Peter. He would’ve… he would’ve taken on something too big with a suit made of pajamas and gotten himself hurt and lied to himself about the fact that he would be fine until he finally… bled out on the pavement or something. I couldn’t let that happen. He… I…” Tony shook his head.

**_The beach up in flames. The aircraft cut to pieces. The stupid little note_.**

Tony saw Bucky wince from the corner of his vision.

“He’s going to change the world,” Bucky muttered, and Tony whirled.

“What?”

Bucky laughed a little and stood, trudging over to stand next to Steve. “If your memory serves correct… that kid is going to change the world.”

Tony raised an eyebrow. **I told you not to mess with my memories of Peter.**

_Your genius almost-son said we need to improve the other areas. I figured the memories of your little protégé would contain some of the lighter content. I may have been a little off._

**Yeah, just a bit.**

**_Mr. Stark, please. I don’t want to go. His kid falling. Crumbling to pieces. Ash on his hands and in the air he breathed. Marking him. Saying ‘this is the man’. ‘This is the man that caused it all.’_ **

He blinked, and his feet were firmly planted on the floor. He sighed, shaking his head at the two concerned men. “You guys need to sleep. I’ll… I’ll do some more research, see if I can come up with any more ‘science headcanons’ to explain this.”

Steve looked about to protest, but Bucky nodded slowly. “We’ll be back in the morning. After breakfast, of course.”

Tony smirked, turning to the nearest monitor. “You guys have fun with that.”

_Oh, you’re having breakfast too._

Tony pulled back a bit, slightly surprised. **I don’t eat breakfast.**

_Now you do._

Tony gaped a bit, turning to look at him, but both Bucky and Steve were already halfway up the stairs. Tony barely caught Bucky’s sly smirk before they disappeared around the corner.

Tony growled.

**Son of a-**

_Language._


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> A little more angst for Tony. Don't worry, we'll get into the Bucky angst next chapter. Good things come to those who wait. I changed the italics/bold thing for the two's thoughts bc of someone's comment. Check the notes on chapter one to see it. I hope you enjoy!

**_Boom. Boom. Boom._ **

**_Boom. Boom. Boom._ **

**_They were coming, and nothing would stop them. There was nothing he could do. The doors busted open and the leader of the ten rings stepped through._ **

**_“Time to have another go.”_ **

**_They were dragging him away, towards the water. Not the water, not again. He couldn’t do this agai-_ **

**_Water and fire._ **

**_Screams._ **

**_He jerked up to see Pepper falling from his grip, into the blazing heat._ **

**_Water, fire, air._ **

**_His anchor, in true anchor fashion, was falling, twisting through the air and screaming at the top of his lungs. Why did it have to be Rhodey? Why was it that all the people around him were cursed to feel his pain?_ **

**_Water, fire, air, snow._ **

**_Siberia. The video. His parents killed in cold blood. The horrible feeling of the PTSD tapping on his shoulder. He wouldn’t give into it. He couldn’t. But he did. It felt strangely good to throw the first punch. But the rest of the fight felt the opposite. Pain. Agony. The fear of being killed by a man you once considered one of your closest friends. His arc reactor dying and being left alone there, with no way home._ **

**_Water, fire, air, snow, dust._ **

**_‘Mr. Stark? I don’t feel so good. I don’t- I don’t know what’s happening, I don’t-!’ Reassuring him he’d be okay. Lies. Lies from the devil himself. ‘I don’t want to go, please Mr. Stark, I don’t want to go!’_ **

**_Guilt._ **

**_‘I’m sorry.’_ **

Bucky surged upward, gasping, trying to slow his heartbeat and catch his breath. Steve shifted from the twin bed across the room, sitting up.

“Buck?”

He didn’t respond, still trying to figure out what his brain was doing.

“Another nightmare?”

Bucky turned to look at Steve, shaking his head. “Not mine.”

Steve’s expression softened, turning sad. “Do you think I should-”

“No.”

Silence.

Bucky slid off his bed and stood, rubbing his face. “I’m going to go grab a cup of coffee,” he murmured, glancing at the clock which read six twenty-nine. “There’s no point trying to get back to sleep now.”

Steve nodded, but he was already laying back down. “Don’t be too loud.”

He smirked. “I wouldn’t dream of it.”

Sliding out of his room, he made his way to the kitchen, trying not to hiss at the feeling of the icy tiles hitting his feet.

_Cold like Siberia._

Bucky shook his head, reaching up to rub his face with both hands before trudging around the corner. He hesitated in the doorway of the kitchen. Something felt off.

“FRIDAY, where’s Stark?”

The AI responded instantaneously. “He is in the lab conducting research.”

Bucky’s eyes narrowed, suspicious. “And when did he get to sleep last night?”

The pause clued him in, but he needed to hear her say it. “He did not go to sleep last night, Mr. Barnes.”

Bucky sighed, before frowning to himself. “Then how did I have that nightmare?” he murmured softly, walking towards the coffee pot on the counter.

“It is apparent that Mr. Stark has been reliving some memories a few minutes ago. It is possible that because of this, his memories may have spilled over into your brain as dreams.”

Bucky sighed. “Thanks, Fri,” he said before blinking at himself. It was weird that calling her that seemed so strange but so nice at the same time.

After making a pot of coffee, he poured himself a cup and opened the fridge. “I need something nutritious. No pop tarts or anything, what have you got?”

“We have the ingredients for twenty-three different variations of an omelet, forty-two variations of a breakfast burrito, twelve variations of toast, fourteen variations of breakfast casserole, fifty-nine bagels in the pantry, and fifteen boxes of non-sugary cereal in the cupboard. Would you like the list of meats that we have as well?”

Bucky snorted, digging around for the carton of eggs. “Shoot.”

“We have bacon, steak, ham, turkey, roast beef, duck, chicken, hamburgers, hot dogs, salami, sausage, and pepperoni.”

Bucky looked at the ceiling in apprehension after placing the ham and bacon on the table. “Cheeses?”

“Blue, Swiss, cheddar, American, boursin, mozzarella, parmesan, camembert, brie, and-”

“Boursin? Why would Tony have that?” Bucky asked, taking out the cheddar and putting it next to the other ingredients.

“Mr. Parker likes eating it on crackers.”

Bucky smirked. “Of course, he does.” His smile disintegrated at the memory his nightmare. He cleared his throat. “I’m not going to ask the variations of bread. Do you have white?”

“Of course.”

Bucky rolled her eyes. “And could you point me to the toaster?”

“On your left in the bottom cupboard.”

“Thanks.”

He managed to find the pan and spatula without FRIDAY’s help and began concocting the omelets. As he was sliding the sixth one off of the pan and onto a plate, a zombified Tony came practically stumbling out of the elevator.

Bucky shot him a raised eyebrow. “What are you doing up, Stark?”

Tony rubbed his eyes, trudging over to the bar and almost running into the stool. “Got up to work on some stuff for SI.”

He decided against the barstool and made his way over to the half-empty coffee pot.

“Ah, ah, ah. Liars don’t get coffee.” Bucky said, sweeping his metal arm out to block Tony’s path. Before Tony could protest, he grabbed the pot and dumped its contents down the sink. Tony sputtered.

“What-? Why would you waste that much-? And I’m not a liar!”

 _Bull._ Bucky thought, turning back to his seventh omelet.

“Oh, don’t use that weird mind-telepathy-communicating just to get me to shut up! I’m not lying!” Tony said, reaching to grab the pot from him, but failing to do the fact that he was a bit lacking in the height department.

_FRIDAY tells me otherwise._

Tony stopped trying to nab the pot as his mood swung to betrayed, his tiredness mostly forgotten. “FRIDAY!”

“Sorry, boss. You did program me to tell the truth. If you’d like to change that, I would happily lie for you, unless of course, it would possibly hurt you in any way. Like, say, you weren’t keeping a good sleep schedule and no one knew about it because I lied to everyone and then you died from lack of sleep and the world spiraled into chaos because Iron Man was gone.”

Tony blinked, and Bucky smirked, sliding the seventh omelet onto the ever-shrinking space on the large plate.

_Busted._

Tony huffed like the child that he was. “How many of those are you making anyway?”

Bucky gave a half-shrug. “I don’t know. Stop changing the subject.” He placed the coffee pot onto the counter with a small thud. “Why don’t you take a nap while I finish these? That would make up a little for the lack of coffee.”

Tony scowled. “Why should I listen to you?”

Bucky raised an eyebrow. “Well if you don’t, I refuse to do any experiments in that freaky lab of yours.”

Tony threw his hands in the air. “Don’t you want to be out of my head? It’s not the nicest place to be.”

Bucky fully turned, crossing his arms over the apron that he’d found hanging on a peg in the pantry. “I do want this fixed, which is why I want one of the only people who _can_ fix it to be able to focus on the situation, not having panic attacks from drinking too much coffee.”

Tony growled. “I’m not-”

“Bull.”

“Fine, maybe I am, but it’s better than alcohol.”

Bucky nodded. “Yes, but you know what’s better than both of those things? Sleep! Now go take a nap while I finish breakfast, or I will go find Strange and ask him how to use these weird brain powers to make you pass out.”

Tony stalked over to the couch and practically collapsed onto it, proving Bucky’s theory that he was more tired than he’d let on. As he finished the tenth omelet, he started getting weird flashes of memories from Tony. They were a bit chaotic, taking the form of pain and suffering and the nightmare that Bucky had previously had.

Bucky frowned, the spatula hesitating over the egg hissing in the pan. If Bucky had a nightmare based on Tony’s awake thoughts, could Bucky change _Tony’s_ dream?

He concentrated, trying to think of anything else that might make Tony happy, his thoughts settling on Peter. It wasn’t difficult to think of cute things about the kid, for Peter was full of them, and projecting his thoughts onto Tony was just like they did when they were communicating. Tony’s dream began to shift to lighter things, remembering Peter’s laugh and smile and nerdy sense of humor.

Bucky flipped the egg and tilted his head. “FRIDAY, take note that we can alter the other’s dreams.”

After a brief pause, the AI responded affirmatively.

Bucky sprinkled cheese over the egg in the pan, wondering if, perhaps, this spell was a blessing in disguise. Maybe, if nothing else, Tony wouldn’t have to deal with sleepless nights for a few weeks. Bucky reached for the ham and dropped it onto the half-formed breakfast food. They’d figure it out. They always did.

 

Tony awoke to the sound of Peter’s unfiltered chatter. He wasn’t quite capable of separating the sounds coming out of his mentee’s mouth and forming them into words yet, but his ears automatically recognized his own name.

“Talking about me while I’m sleeping, huh?” Tony asked, sitting up from the couch.

Peter turned, surprised. “Oh! I didn’t know you were awake. Mr. Barnes was just asking how many you would want to eat.”

Tony stood, trudging over to the counter where Peter was sitting, rubbing the sleep from his eyes.

**How long was I out?**

_About forty minutes._ Bucky replied, turning to place a plate of food in front of him. _Kid just got up. Steve just got up to go on a run, but he’ll be back in an hour or so. Wanda and Vis haven’t shown. They’re probably the smartest of all of us._

“Are you guys communicating?” Peter’s voice cut through their conversation.

Tony just grunted in response, eyeing the two omelets on his plate. “What’s in this?”

“Nutrients. Which is what you need. Now eat it.”

Tony grumbled to himself, but Bucky’s imposing glare forced him to comply. Once he started eating, however, he couldn’t seem to stop. The omelets were fantastic, although Tony would say it out loud, and he didn’t realize how hungry he’d been until he had started eating. From the smugness floating through the air at him, however, he knew that Bucky knew.

On the other hand, what he was eating was nothing compared to Peter. Peter had eaten four omelets in the time that Tony had eaten one-and-a-half and didn’t look like he was about to stop. Tony just paused his own meal and watched for a minute as Peter practically wolfed down a fifth omelet. Reaching over with his fork, he pressed it against Peter’s. “Take a bit to breathe, son.”

Peter turned a bit red, swallowing the egg already in his mouth. “Sorry, Mr. Stark. I just… get really hungry.”

Tony nodded slowly, pulling back his fork.

_Son?_

**It’s a phrase, Barnes. He’s not my illegitimate child.**

_Still. It’s cute._

Tony rolled his eyes and finished his second omelet, watching Peter out of the corner of his vision. Peter was a bit more self-conscious about what he was eating now, but that didn’t stop him from grabbing two pieces of toast.

_I think Peter might be slightly malnourished._

**That was my theory. I can’t imagine why, though. His aunt would do anything to keep him healthy.**

_What if she doesn’t know?_

**What do you mean?**

_What if she doesn’t realize that he’s malnourished. Maybe he doesn’t tell her when he’s hungry. Is he the kind of person that would do that?_

Tony glared at the counter. **He is if it would mean inconveniencing someone else. His aunt’s a bit pinched on money. Of _course_ , he wouldn’t tell her. Ugg, I’m such an idiot.**

Bucky’s thoughts were silent for a moment, as he placed three omelets on his own plate. _What are you going to do about it?_

Tony frowned for a bit. **I’m gonna pay him. I’m gonna pay him for his internship.**

Bucky smiled slightly, cutting a piece of his breakfast and shoving it into his mouth. _I think that’s a pretty good idea._

 

After the three of them had finished eating, Peter started automatically cleaning the kitchen, and the two men hadn’t hesitated to help. With all three of them working, it was practically spotless in five minutes, the only sign they’d been there was the plate of breakfast waiting for Steve on the counter.

“I’m going to head back down to my-”

“No, you’re going to take another nap.”

Tony blinked, staring at Bucky. “I thought-”

“I know what you _thought_ , Stark. You’re going to take another nap. At least one hour.”

Tony threw his hands in the air. “Barnes! We don’t have an hour! I have to… to _fix this_ or we may be stuck in each other’s heads forever! I don’t have time to _sleep!_ ”

Peter giggled. “Mr. Stark, when I use that excuse you get mad at me.”

Tony glared at him. “That’s because I’m an adult. While you are still growing, I am much past that stage.”

Bucky laughed. “Sleep is a basic need that everyone has. You can’t just ‘not have time’ for basic human necessities, no matter if you’re an adult or not.”

Tony folded his arms. “Fine. One hour. FRIDAY set an alarm, I’m going to go sleep in my bedroom,” he said practically stomping over to the elevator.

Once he was gone, Bucky rolled his eyes at Peter and glanced at the ceiling. “FRIDAY, can I cancel that alarm? It’d be nice if he got a little more than an hour of sleep.”

“Unfortunately, you do not have alpha level clearance. However, there is one individual at the compound that does have that level that is not Mr. Stark.”

“And who might that be?”

“Mr. Parker.”

Bucky and Peter turned to each other, wearing matching grins.

 

Tony groaned, waking up for the second time that day. He immediately knew something was wrong. “Fri, what time is it?”

“Noon, sir.”

Tony shot up. “Noon?! How did I sleep that long? FRIDAY, you were supposed to wake me up!”

“Mr. Parker overrode that command.”

“How?!” Tony demanded, already wondering if there was a hole in his system.

“He said it was to better your health. That, and the fact that you gave him alpha level clearance convinced me to make the switch.”

Tony growled. “I’ll have to patch up that little bug later. Where is he?”

“If you are referring to Mr. Parker, he would be in the lab, along with Mr. Barnes and Mr. Rogers. Ms. Maximoff is there as well.”

Tony nodded, making his way down.

_Up already? I was hoping you’d sleep a little longer._

Tony glared at nothing as he stepped down into his lab. **I’m sure you would. Conspiring against me while I slept?**

Bucky didn’t reply in his head, just turned and raised an eyebrow. “We weren’t doing anything of the sort. Your little protégé here was trying to help me pull my brain from yours.”

“That telepathy thing weirds me out,” Steve’s voice came from the corner and Tony instinctively tensed before forcing himself to relax. He felt Bucky questioning him but decided to ignore him. No need to deal with that can of worms if he didn’t have to.

“Sorry, bud. If you want my brain out of your best friend’s, I’d get used to it,” he said, not meeting Steve’s gaze. He frowned at the lack of spider-chatter, but his confusion melted into a smile at the sight of Peter working intently at one of the monitors with Wanda peering over his shoulder.

At the sudden silence, the two youngest Avengers looked up, Peter grinning at him. “Hey, Mr. Stark. Sorry if you don’t want us using your stuff, but FRIDAY said it was fine, so I figured you would get mad at her if anyone. Wanda looked a bit at Mr. Barnes’ brain and said that completely immersing your brains together would probably be overkill and that as long as you guys practice in each area, you won’t have to share every experience you’ve ever had to get the thoughts separated. I also talked to Vision earlier and he’s been in contact with Dr. Strange and Wong about what spells would work on actually getting your thoughts apart. They’re basically using him as a giant computer, but he said he didn’t mind running the algorithm.”

Tony smirked. “Yeah, he’s super helpful like that.”

Wanda raised an eyebrow at the mention of her boyfriend. “Was that sarcasm, Stark?”

Tony raised both hands. “Of course not! Everything that comes from me is helpful.”

The number of raised eyebrows he received was amusing, but Peter won. “Mr. Stark never word it like that. It makes it sound like you gave birth to him.”

Silence for three seconds. Tony busted out laughing, eliciting the others to feel comfortable expressing their amusement.

As the laughter died down, Bucky raised his hand. Tony rolled his eyes. “You don’t have to do that, Barnes. Just ask away.”

“I still don’t get it. Cause Peter told us earlier that if we combine our thoughts, they’ll separate, so why do we need the spell?”

Tony grinned, taking a seat across from the monitor Peter was at, the elation of explaining things rushing through him like morphine. “Well see, that’s the fun part about crap like this. It’s never one or the other. It’s usually a mix of both magic and science. The magic part is the thing that actually takes your thoughts out of mine and vice versa, but if we did that right away without all this immersion stuff, we’d be super confused, because I’d still have some of your memories and thoughts and emotions and stuff stored in my brain from the initial spell and you would have mine and we’d be super confused and not able to identify whose thoughts were whose and we wouldn’t be able to figure it out cause our brains would be separated by then and we’d forever think those this happened to us when they really didn’t.”

Peter nodded in support and the others wrestled with that for a bit before Bucky let out an elongated “Ohhhhhh”.

Tony grinned at Steve, throwing a thumb in Bucky’s direction. “He’s really into this stuff.”

Steve laughed. “Yeah, back in the day, he was a huge dork.”

Tony raised an eyebrow, but memories hit him, and the moment shattered, and he awkwardly looked away, trying to forget the broken ‘yes’ that had slipped from Steve’s cracked lips and twisted the blade that had been injected into his spine.

Wanda cleared her throat and smiled at him. It shocked him a bit how genuine it was. “I’m happy to be able to help a bit. I’ll be in the kitchen if anyone needs me.”

Silence took over the lab as Wanda’s heels clicked up the stairs until Peter perked up. “Why don’t you guys work on muscle memory?”

Tony blinked. “What?”

“Well, that’s one of the parts, isn’t it? Is there anything you can do that you could teach Mr. Barnes?”

Tony shrugged, baffled. “Like what?”

Peter frowned, submerging into his chaotic thoughts. “Any specific fighting moves that you’ve memorized? Nevermind, he probably knows all of them. Uh… anything when you're inventing that your hands automatically know? I don’t know, what is there that-?”

“Do you play an instrument?” Steve asked, honestly trying to help.

Tony’s throat constricted. “No,” he said automatically. Not that. Anything but that.

Bucky cocked his head at him, about to voice his incredulity, but Tony’s desperate eyes must have deterred him because he paused, frowning.

“Why don’t you guys try and figure something out? I’m going to go… work on some SI stuff,” he said, turning on his heel and stalking up the stairs. As much as he hated leaving Peter in there with those two, he hated the thought of confronting that particular demon even more. At least he could monitor using Bucky’s thoughts.

 

“What was that all about?” Steve asked quietly as if afraid Tony would hear him, which was a completely rational fear with all the security systems in place. “Was it something I said?”

Peter’s shoulders slumped, sighing. “I was hoping to avoid that one.”

Bucky frowned. “Why? Does he have something against music?”

Peter laughed. “No, nothing about music in particular. It’s… well… he does know how to play the piano. He plays when it’s just us sometimes, and he’s fantastic at it, but…”

“What?” Steve asked, but Bucky knew as Peter glanced warily at him. Knew as he recognized the panic on Tony’s face. Knew as he understood Tony more and more each day.

Peter looked sadly at Steve, then back at Bucky. “His mom taught him to play.”

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment if there is any confusion or something seems out of character, thank you!


End file.
